Every once in a while a seemingly insignificant incident dovetails with a very significant one.
I filled my car up with gas today, getting ready for the work week ahead. After replacing the pump, I pulled out my twenty dollar bill and walked into the station. At the counter ahead of me was an elderly lady, obviously in her seventies at least. Her back was totally turned toward me, but when she sensed me behind her, she turned and acknowledged me with a smile. I hadn't been in line more than a few seconds before she completed her transaction with the cashier. Afterward, she quickly turned around and apologized for me, saying "I didn't see you standing there", obviously thinking she had delayed me. I told her it was fine, that I had 'just gotten there', and went on to complete my transaction.
As I walked back to the car, however, I smiled in wonder. How long had it been since anyone had apologized to me for making me wait in line, regardless of how warranted the apology had been? Normally, I have to endure seemingly endless interludes of waiting, grinding my teeth and tapping my foot while a customer rattles off all the latest news about their life to the buddy/cashier, who never attempts to hurry them along, like the customer him/herself, never mindful of the human beings who their unnecesary exchange is impacting. That's become almost a given in modern life, and to finally have someone acknowledge me, as another person in their life, who is affected by their actions, was truly a revelation.
It seemed fitting that the person who broke this spell was an elderly person. I hate to be ageist, but I don't think it's being unfair to say that the vast majority of people under 30 tend to be less aware of other people, whether it be the selfish driver who makes quick, last minute lane changes without bothering to use a turn signal, the imbecilic store patron who brazenly curses loudly, regardless of who else is in close proximity, the loitering corner mob who skulk menacingly and make rude comments, usually mixed with laughter, as families and elders walk past, or the brain dead moviegoer who insists on having their cell phones on and talking on it (and to their "buds") during the movie, and on and on.
I don't think I'm being out of line by suggesting that the VAST majority of these perpetrators are under the age of 30. But is age the true determining factor here, or is there something about being that age that tells the tale?
People over that age, in large part, grew up without access to many of the mechanisms that allow the type of total personal freedom we all take as a given today. Now we can seek out any kind of information on the net, access and experience virtually any type of music we want at any time, at any place. We can talk to basically anyone on the planet, do our banking, check the weather, news. We all drive our own cars, all of which have stereo systems with advanced user preferences. All of this is fine and good, and when I was growing up even seemed like some kind of far off nirvana; a world in which you really were able to control your entire environment.
What we didn't think of back then, and often forget now, is that such a w0rld is great for the individual but very taxing on the individual's ability to work within a community. If you never have to come into contact with others, if you never need to negotiate and compromise time and resources with other people, those abilities begin to atrophy. Over time, they disappear. Eventually what you get is a society that is little more than a geographically centered group of individuals who have neither inclination nor opportunity for true cohesion, who forget how to acknowledge the importance and significance (or even the reality!) of other human beings. Other people seem less and less 'real' as time goes by, and much, much easier to objectify and much, much harder to empathize with.
Thus, when rage and frustration builds up, as is inevitable in today's (or any society), it's that much easier to vent it on people in the immediate area when you don't really see them as people, but as things in the way. If you never have conversations with people, if you never have to take the time to get to know someone in a meaningful way, it's very hard if not impossible to perceive them as truly significant, beings with hopes and fears and strengths and weaknesses. Venting your rage upon them becomes less and less like hurting living beings and becomes more and more like mowing down pixelated images on a computer screen; impersonal and free of real consequences.
It's not the technology itself that I worry about it; it's the misapplication of it. It's using it lazily or as a substitute for true, face to face interaction. Techology is so seductive. It's easy and quick and allows us all to insulate ourselves from compromise and conflict and truly be masters of our own world, at least on the surface. When you are interacting with software and a monitor that wants or demands nothing of you and offers you seemingly endless options to choose from, it's hard to learn how to compromise, and you don't have to negotiate emotions and motives and all the complex attributes that other human beings have. We become quiet, numb kings; blissfully sheltered from all the nasty complications of society, tranquilized by our own escapism and dependent upon and obligated to, no one but ourselves.
When I was young, I clearly remember my family's summer night ritual of sitting out in our front yard in lawn chairs, peacefully wiling away the evening. Neighbors would almost always drift over and chat about neighborhood news, reminisce about old times, discuss baseball and kids, or whatever seemed interesting at the time. People would ride by on bicycles, and would often stop and chat a while themselves. No one ever seemed in a hurry, and for the most part, no one was off on their own. Everyone kind of moved around in a kind of informal but jointly recognized circle, drifting in and out of conversations, greeting people as they appeared and in general, just enjoying the cool summer air and the company of their fellow man.
I cannot imagine something like that happening today. Not because it's impossible; chairs and lawns are still readily available and people still live close enough to each other to form such groups. The reason I can't imagine it today is because I can't imagine people having time or inclination to do so. Most people are firmly ensconsed in their own worlds today; watching TV, surfing the Internet, using myriad personal phone permutations, or just on the road from one place to another, or doing one of a thousand tasks that the hectic world didn't give them time for until right that minute.
Would neighborhood chats or less internet time have stopped any of the recent killings? Certainly doubtful. Certaint types of rage seem incurable and totally unpredictable and we certainly can't gear our society towards it's most unstable members. We'd end up with a timid, reactive culture that never grew or indulged our imagination, one that would eventually wither and die.
But it does seem that today's advanced technology provides a double blow to the concept of community. It's simultaneously individual centered, allowing for near total autonomy and personal choice and it has created a hyperkineticism that almost precludes meaningful human interaction, even in cases where one would want such interaction! ATMs, online payments, online purchasing, reading, and various other activities all supposedly make our lives easier by making things quicker, but does "easier" always equate to "better"? For every gain made by speeding up a culture, I'd argue there's a corresponding loss, that of the societal bonding that results from experiencing life in a less hurried (and harried) manner.
Am I lobbying for the outlawing of all modern technologies, raging against Ipods and internet and Bluetooth? Well, no. Things change, and life moves on and hopefully adapts to those changes. Whatever negative effects these new cultural artifacts have, they aren't negative in and of themselves, but only so in the way they are used. Modern technology has the potential to truly increase emotional connections between people in an unprecedented way. My mother used to communicate with friends and family on a daily basis thanks to the wonders of WebTV, at a time when she was housebound and ill. This ability provided her with true joy on countless occasions, and I'm sure that's a joy that's been mirrored millions of times over across the globe. I love surfing the net, watching television (when I can find something good on, which is increasingly rare), and listening to music. It's when we all begin adapting our lives to the technology instead of the other way around that I worry. New developments in technology don't always have to render all previous cultural practices obsolete, but it seems like that what usually happens. We're all still out here, all still human and vulnerable, and no new gadget is ever going to change that. I think it's not only possible, but essential, to be able to embrace technological advances while remaining in control of its application and the extent to which it informs your daily life. Surf the net, but get out and walk a bit. Order online but know the name of your corner grocer. Join MySpace or Facebook but get involved in your local community groups too. Don't let the peripathetic pace of modern culture make your morally lazy. Having a turbo engine and being late for work doesn't mean it's OK to cut in front of someone in an adjoining lane, or passing in a no passing zone.
Maybe then you'll be aware that the figure standing behind you in line is indeed a person, more or less like you, who wants to be waited on, too. Hell, it might even be me.
posted by Michael @ 2:50 PM
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