Walkabout

I like walking. I should say, I like what walking does for me, I am sort of ambivalent about the practice itself. I guess I would like it more if I had a different itinerary, but in a small town there are only so many ways you can walk a mile or two, only so many paths and backroads you can traverse. Basically, you go past the same scenery, see the same people, and take the same amount of time every time you walk.

But that's OK. Walking makes me feel energized, more alive. It's certainly better for me that vegging out in front of the TV or computer. I started walking over to the cemetery after my mom died, about a two mile walk, there and back. I did that on the weekends even when she was still with me, and it was because of her that I started. She used to tell me how much she would enjoy walking over there after her mom died (perhaps enjoy is the wrong word, but it was a positive experience however you term it). So after my dad passed in 1992 I started trekking over there when I could. I walk past all the houses on my street, walk over two bridges, past the Apple River, and up a gentle rise into the old cemetery. I go through that, down a fairly steep hill and over a bridge that runs over a small creek and up another steep hill into the new cemetery. That's where my folks are, and most of my family. My grandparents, my uncles and aunts are all there. Sad to say, at 41, most of my family is there now. I have gone to the cemetery my whole life; my mom used to tend the graves with real flowers in the summer and spring and with grave blankets in the winter. I helped her water the flowers and after my dad passed, I drove her over to pay her respects. So it's not a weird, alien experience for me, or even one that is depressing. It's just a part of me now. Some people call their folks every Sunday, or go over for dinner. I walk over and say "hi".

I try to take my digital camera with me on most trips. I love taking pictures and often there's something along the way that is photo worthy. The river, the trees along the way, maybe a stray squirrel or rabbit. Sometimes the sky is a cool shade of red or the clouds look neat. Whatever catches my eye really is fair game.

I do a lot of thinking while I'm walking too. Sometimes that's good. It gets me out of my fairly depressing house and the cool air and wind on my face can jar the lethargic cobwebs that often settle on my brain. Sometimes it's not a good thing though. I think a lot anyway, and for some reason going on those walks reminds me of how quickly time is passing and how far I have yet to go on my real journey; the journey to make something of my life.

But still I walk. My doctor told me a couple years ago one of my blood cholestrol levels was just a tad high and that it could probably be made better just by exercise. And my legs feel better after a walk. I sleep better after a walk, and have more of an appetite. It's just a good thing for me overall. I get better ideas for stories while I'm writing too. In both the long and short runs, it's a win-win.

I wish my mom could have walked more. She had agoraphobia for over half of her life, and though she improved quite a bit in the last twenty years or so, she never did get to the point of being able to walk downtown again. I can only imagine how confining and limiting it must have been for her to not be able to do that. And I kind of wish we could have walked together. For a while I did get her to walk around the block each night; I think she sort of tolerated rather than really enjoyed that.

Exercise is a reminder to me that no matter how boring or inconvenient or sometimes uncomfortable it is, you need to keep moving in order to really feel alive. I'm not Jack LaLane; I don't do "reps" and "curls" or "squats". But I do want to keep in the game and I don't want to become too comfortable in my sedentary lifestyle. It would be very easy to just let everything sort of slide over me now. But I try very hard to not let the world just come at me, but to come at it a bit too. So even though sometimes it's cold or hot or I'm tired or I just don't have that much time, I keep walking, and thinking and taking pictures and talking to my folks and nodding to the passing cars and thinking of stories, and moving toward whatever lies ahead of me.

Even though each day is pretty much the same, I'm still interested enough to make the journey