Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout?

Is it just me or are people really talking about a lot of boring things these days?

I don't profess to be a model conversationalist; I have done my share of petty conversations, i.e. talking about other people, repeating myself at times, talking for the sake of validation. But I really try NOT to do these things, because I find them so repugnant in other people. I try to talk about things that are important, interesting and relevant. And above all, I try (though obviously don't always succeed) to talk about things of general interest to the person or people I am talking to.

I don't know how many conversations I have heard lately that revolve chiefly around money. Now I guess this is just a personal preference, but the minute I hear the conversation turn to financial matters, I begin to feel myself drifting off into a nice peaceful slumber. Certainly money and finance is an important part of life, but if I really want to talk about it I will talk to a financial advisor, a broker, an agent, etc. This is not the type of stuff I want to settle back with after a long hard day. Folks, it's BORING! I don't care about your Roth IRA, I don't care about your COLAS or your 401Ks. You should of course, but it's such a shallow topic for discussion. Now if I ASK you about this stuff, OK. But otherwise, leave the cash in your wallet and let's concentrate on more interesting stuff. To be honest, you probably don't know what the hell you're talking about anyway. I know I sure don't.

I realize all of this stuff falls under the umbrella of "reality" but it's all "reality as it is" not how it could be, and that's the kind of thing I find interesting to talk about. Tell me how the world SHOULD be, not how it is. I know how it is; let's talk about how we can make it better or at the very least, different. Let's talk about how to get the money out of politics, how to make families closer, how to reform our education system. Let's talk about what "American values" really are and what they should be. Let's talk about a great book you read or a great movie you saw or a great song you heard, and tell me why you loved it or them.

I know all of this pales in comparison to endless droning about minivans or your new deck or what cute non-essential functions your new cell phone has, but humor me just a little, OK? None of this was the stuff any of you stayed up all night in college talking about, was it? So why do you think it's necessary to talk about it now?

The dirty little secret is that no one really cares about any of this, it's just that we all think it's what we have to think about now that we're "grown up". We don't have the time or energy to dream anymore, to use our imagination and spark each other's creativity, so we fall back into the path of least conversational resistance, and that is to concentrate on shallow, material subjects.

But why do we associate maturity with materialism? Is it the same reason we associate success with wealth? Is that why Christmas has become little more than a spending orgy, and all the other major holidays just thinly veiled excuses to get wasted?

Is it just that we're all too lazy and busy with maintaining all of these things we really don't need to let our minds open up and remember a time when we dared to dream? Have we got stuck in such a rut that we've decided this is the best we can do and we might as well come to terms with it, sink into the physical world and regale each other with tales of "how to be more comfortable" or "how to make the most money by doing the least amount of work"?

When you are a child, you constantly ask "why?" Why do people have to die? Why does God allow bad things to happen? Why is there war? Why are there poor people? These are not foolish questions. Quite the contrary, they are insightful ones, ones we should ask each other for our entire lives. Growing up does not mean giving up, nor does it mean embracing the practical and discarding the romantic. Growing up means doing what you have to do to survive, but also keeping the flame of hope alive that things can get better and striving to make them so. It seems like far too many people these days have decided to abandon those thoughts, and so they litter the air with distracting, meaningless noise that does nothing but preserve the drearily mundane and injust status quo.

There is another reason why these dull topics are so popular; they are safe. They don't demand anything of the people talking in terms of personal commitment or courage or candor. They are just easy, ready made subjects that require only minimal attention and often, intelligence. This type of conversation is the communicative equivalent of microwave popcorn. Five minutes after you've consumed it, you are hungry again and can barely remember what it tasted like.

I understand that all conversation can't be deep and meaningful. No one really wants to wax philsophical all the time, and there are occasions when it simply isn't possible. But honestly, don't you often yearn for talk that engages you, fires you up, angers you or inspires you? And I don't mean the type of mean spirited baiting that goes on on talk radio. I'm talking about good old fashioned fair and honest debate; an exchange of ideas about life between people who respect each other and treat each other accordingly. This is an endangered species in modern culture and it's passing is just another sign of the triumph of crudity and banality over nuance and imagination.

So the next time someone starts chattering on about his Humvee or his new deck, ask him if he has read any good books lately, or what he thinks about the latest Supreme Court nominee. If he has no answer, move on to someone else. You owe yourself some food for the brain, and way too many people these days are subsisting entirely on Big Macs and large Cokes.